This is me, begging, pleading....

I need everyone to sit down and read this.  Read into it, don't read into it, do what you will with the information I'm about to provide for you.

Listen, this isn't my first rodeo.  I've gained weight, I've lost weight, I've gained weight, and now I've lost weight...the weight has finally stayed off.  It's been ONE YEAR since I hit my goal weight and I am so happy and excited that I finally figured out that friggin' healthy eating actually DOES work.  I haven't had a McDonald's cheeseburger in 20+ months, or their fries.  I will admit to eating two burrito supremes from Taco Bell, but honestly, two in 20 months is a huge feat...at least for me it is!

Anyway, here's the deal.  If you start this journey, clean eating, healthy eating, whatever you want to call it, you HAVE to stick with it.  If you don't, you'll gain every ounce of weight back.  This is NOT a diet, this is not temporary...it's a life style change.  Once you jump on this ride, you're in it for life, unless you want to ruin all of your progress.

This is why I HIGHLY recommend cheat meals.  One to two per weekend should suffice.  Get that pasta in there, get the sugar in there, get the pizza in there...be bad.  That is totally fine.  The scale may go up a pound or two, but you'll end up losing that the following week, I promise.  Just, be aware of what you're eating.  I wouldn't cheat with a hamburger from McDonald's, at all.  If I'm going to cheat, I want the real deal...I want real food...food with cream in it, and butter.  This past weekend I had Eggplant Parmesan and a side of Alfredo fettuccine noodles...it was fantastic.  There were also tacos added into my weekend somewhere, as well (the innards of the taco are ok, the flour shells, however are no bueno...so those are always a treat for me).

If you go, say, a month without eating anything other than real, clean, healthy food please don't be surprised if you go for your first cheat meal (by the way, I lasted two months until I went for my first cheat meal), you eat it and you're almost instantly sick.  Whether it be throwing up or you're on the pot for a while throughout the day.  Pizza is my kryptonite.  It's the one thing I consistently use as a cheat.  I will eat it and almost always regret I ate it.  Also, if I have too much sugar in a cheat day, my tummy is NEVER happy...ever.  Oh, and I also rarely drink any alcohol.  I've paid attention to my body and when I drink it, it's very, very hard to get the weight off the following week.

So, do this for me - I need you all, who are trying this thing out, to please, please, please don't give up.  Honestly, it works...this whole being healthy thing is actually pretty great.  Remember several posts back when I gave you the run down of everything that's different about my body?  My hair and nails grow insanely fast, my skin is the clearest it's ever been....the weight loss!!  So many more positive things have changed, as well, and it honestly scares me to lose all the progress I've made.  I loved the old me, I have/had great self esteem, but I felt heavy and I knew I deserved a long, prosperous, and healthy life...I have so much more to give to the world and so do you!!!

If you take one thing away from this, please just be aware of what you're doing to your body and how it will impact everything when you make changes...good or bad.  Stay strong, people...you got this!!!

As for my food list today:

*8am - 2 hard boiled eggs and a banana (I'm reducing down to two to see what it'll do...if anything).
*10am - banana (I need to cut up my watermelon and buy more strawberries).
*12pm - grilled asparagus and baked Greek chicken.
*2pm - 3.5 cups of air popped popcorn.
*6pm - grilled shrimp with broccoli and a sprinkle of Parmesan cheese.

Say "cheese"...spread!

Oh my word!  While at the grocery store yesterday my children were trying every single free sample the grocery store had out.  They went from fruit, to lunch meat, to cheese, to cookies...and then my daugher asked to try some pretzels that were situated by a free sample of this cheese spread that no one really thought two licks about...until my daughter asked to try that, as well.  She did and she kept going back for more.  I looked at the label and figured I could at least try it...y'all, it was AMAZING!!

I've always been open about eating and loving cheese (it's really the only dairy I ingest), within reason, of course.  Honestly, I wouldn't call it "clean," as it has cream in it...etc.  However, it's low calorie and has zero sugars and very low carbs, so I bought it and have 2 tbsp of it here with me, today.  I'll be eating the cheese spread with carrots, naturally.  I was so excited for my 10am snack time today.  Ha!

Anyway, the kids are off with my parents this weekend so I have a few day to myself, which will be nice, but super weird.  I've been so busy with back to school stuff, for both them and me.  My fall semester starts August 17th and the kids start August 24th.  I cannot believe the summer is over.  We took some great trips, saw some awesome things, and spent a good amount of family time together.  Once again, though, the daily grind will come and we'll all be too busy to really stop and smell the roses.  I'm hoping this Fall/Winter we will all be able to get in that good quality time, so it doesn't seem like a blur, like it usually does.  Life is seriously flying by these days.   

So, that cheese spread, it's this:  http://www.alouettecheese.com/products/flame-roasted-red-peppers-soft-spreadable-cheese  If you need a new veggie dip or something to spread on your lettuce sandwich wraps, I HIGHLY suggest this.  Yum!  Measure it out, though...don't do it blind, or you'll eat too much of it, I promise, it is THAT good.

Last, but not least (and always my favorite part) is my food list for the day...yeah!!

*8am - 3 hard boiled eggs and a peach
*10am - 12 baby carrots and 2 tbsp of the above mentioned cheese
*12pm - roasted pork tenderloin and steamed brussel sprouts
*2pm - 9 strawberries
*6pm - I'mma going out and I believe I'm having the grilled mahi tacos.

I hope you all have an awesome Friday and an even better weekend!!  Peace out, my homies...and much love!!

P.S.  If you wanna try that cheese spread out, it's on sale, BOGO, at Harris Teeter (if you're a local) until next Tuesday.  

I've been a bad, bad girl.....

There are these days, these niches in time where you just need comfort.  You want your mommy and your blankie and you want to curl up and hide away from the world.  

Yesterday ended up being that horrible day, for me.  It was so bad that I ended up eating the world's largest carb filled dinner.  Well, at least "large" in my book.  Let me tell you this, though, it wasn't planned, it just happened.  The bright side?  I didn't over eat, though, thank goodness...there wasn't that immediate regret, or that "stuffed to the gill" feeling.

So, here's the thing, there are days when you need something more, you need a hug so big that it just envelops you.  You need someone on your side, your cheerleader, to let you know that you're ok and what you're feeling is completely valid.  These days, for me, come few far and in between, but last night I hit a wall.  I hit this emotional wall and all of my strength was gone.  I needed, no, I wanted something greater...I needed to be bad.  When cooking dinner I had a plan, I was going to do frozen veggies and chicken, no biggie.  However, I ran out of pots after making everything else (for the kids and boyfriend), so, I said "freak it."  Freak those frozen veggies...I ended up having one taste of those homemade creamy and buttery mashed potatoes and my world came tumbling down into a fantastic carb induced dinner...and it was delicious.  Not my usual drug of choice, but it's just what my mind and body needed. I browned chicken and then baked it, I took the leftover juices from the chicken and I made white gravy (sawmill gravy if you're from the South), homemade mashed potatoes...with cream AND butter, and a box of stove-top stuffing (for the boyfriend)....oh, wait, sweet corn, as well.  I ate it and I savored it and I thought to myself, "self, this weekend you'll do amazing wonderful 'clean' things, but today, tonight, during this very meal, you're going to eat the crap out of some good home cookin' and you'll be fine!"

This is why I'm writing this:  I woke up this morning and I looked the same in the mirror, I wasn't 40lbs heavier, my dress zipped up.  That one night of carb filled goodness did not do me in.  I'm still me, I'm still Kristi, and I'm still eating healthy!  I woke up this morning, made my eggs, ate my banana and had a very healthy lunch, and will soon eat my strawberries.  This is because I'm disciplined, this is because I know that I'm not perfect.  We all mess up at some point and although I wouldn't call this a "doozie" screw up, I'd essentially admit that I really let the day get to me, but in all honesty, I needed to do something out of the ordinary for once.  Screwing up is ok, I promise.  One meal with homemade mashed potatoes won't ruin the past 20 months of my life...uh-uh, no way...I'm stronger than that.

I think the only regret I have is not taking a picture of the meal and sharing it...ha!

Anyway, I hope everyone is having a fantastic week and you're all hanging in there.  Remember, you are strong enough, you have the discipline, you ARE worthy of the life you lead.