Getting to know you (errrr....me?)

Wanna hear my life story?  Yes?  Well, you aren't getting it, but I'll give you the CliffsNotes to the last, say, 12 years of my life...to show you where I've come from and how I got here.

I was married young (22), became a mother a year later (23), my second child was born 2.5 years later (25) and I was a very young divorcee (27).  I was a Navy wife and absolutely loved it.  To most, they think that's what did my marriage in, but it really wasn't.  I loved moving to new places and meeting new friends.  I've lived in Yokosuka, Japan, Virginia Beach, VA, and New Orleans, LA (there was a 6 week stint in Olathe, KS, as well).  In those five years I webbed my way through different weights.  Between pregnancies and being downright depressed, I'd gain and lose, lose and gain.  I never really dieted, I just new to cut back and be more active...but losing to me was 5-10lbs here and there, nothing like 40.  When I was pregnant with Jake, I gained 10lbs...we lived in Japan, didn't own a car and walked everywhere.  I even walked home from the hospital after having an emergency c-section!  Talk about horrible and daunting (can you kinda tell why I divorced the ex, yet?).

My biggest weight gain was when I was pregnant with Kara-Lou.  After 55lbs I stopped looking at the scale...I weighed upwards of 260 when I delivered her.  Yep, 260..wowee.  Here's a picture of me at 38 weeks along...one baby, not twins, I swear.

Kara-Lou ended up being 8#5oz and 18.5 inches long, 9 years ago. 

I was so embarrassed by how big I got, but the doctor told me I was retaining a ton of fluid.  When the swelling went down, after having Kara, I only had a few pounds of pregnancy weight to lose.  It's amazing what our bodies can and will do during pregnancy.  Geesh.  







Anyway, fast forward to today.  I work full time at a University here in North Carolina...I do exciting stuff like administrating....haha!  Also, I'm a college student working towards my associates degree.  You see, I decided that if I were to go back to school, I wanted to go for something I love and believe in.  To me, that is writing.  I'm on a very slooooow track to getting my two year degree (it's more like a three year degree) and will then transfer to the University I currently work at for my Bachelors in Creative Writing, and then I'll move on to my Masters in Communications.  I want to write, I want to communicate, I want to make a difference.

Several weeks ago I thought long and hard about this summer, I felt like something was missing...and it was.  I wasn't writing papers or reading literature (notes to the boyfriend wasn't cutting it).  So, here I am...writing to you all and hoping I'm making some sort of difference in someone's life, not to mention, I'm writing and it feels great!  Luckily, school starts back up in a month and I can't wait; Fall semester will be packed, but it's worth it.

Through everything - the kids, weight gain and loss, the divorce, the boyfriend, school, and work - I knew who I was and who I wanted to be.  Yes, it's taking longer than expected, but that doesn't mean I'll give up or throw in the towel...this goes for everything in my life, not just weight loss or school.

Last but not least, my food list for the day...I have a real treat for you, breakfast for dinner!

*8am - 2 eggs (gasp...only two!) and one banana
*10am - sliced apples and 2 tbsp peanut butter
*12pm - leftover taco salad (last night's leftovers)
*2pm - 1 cup of red grapes
*6pm - Clean pancakes (www.pinterest.com/pin/270708627575677094/ ) with 1tbsp real maple syrup and sliced strawberries.  I may buy turkey bacon, but I'm not sold on it, yet.  The kids will have real pancakes with pancake syrup (no high fructose corn syrup included), the bacon, and fruit.

So, tell me.  What about your story?  What have you overcome, or what have you decided to change about your life??  It's all in your willpower and personal belief in yourself.

100lbs lighter than the pregnancy picture.  Sincerely happy (and able) to climb Cape Hatteras Lighthouse.  May 2015

A little bit of this and a little bit of that....

I've come to the conclusion that you absolutely cannot be a picky eater while eating clean/healthy.  I mean, I've heard so many people say they can't do this because they don't like veggies or they can't eat that way because they can't give up beef.  Here's the thing...you can do it...you just have to be open minded. (FYI, you don't have to give up red meat to be clean; that was my own personal choice..what you do need to do is make sure you're eating grass fed beef/red meat and very lean cuts.)

I found that I ate the same veggies over and over again and things quickly became redundant.  This is where and when I found that I love all greens...dandelion, turnip, collard...you name it, I eat it.  This was also the point that I tried okra.  This was one vegetable I was not budging on, at all.  That is until I ate a certain dish at our local Cajun restaurant.  They put the plate in front of me and I saw the veggie of doom, okra, but it looked different this time.  I tried it, I didn't gag...so I ate a little more. Low and behold, I actually liked it.  Y'all, we aren't talking fried okra dipped in ranch or anything super unhealthy, I'm talking straight up okra.  The following week I decided to buy frozen okra and play around with it to see if I would still like it, and I did.  So, a total win for me!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, once you change the way you eat and you cut out sugars and fast food and any "bad" stuff, your taste buds will change.  You won't need as much salad dressing on your salads and certain foods will almost be too sweet to eat.  When starting this journey, even if you're just trying it out, allow yourself to try new things, don't be afraid of anything.  Believe me, vegetables won't kill you, even if you try one bite...pinky swear.

So, I promised a recipe on my Facebook page...so here it is!  My very own stewed okra...it's delish.

1 frozen bag of okra
1 tbsp diced garlic
1 med. vidalia onion
1/4 cup diced celery
1 can diced tomatoes
1/2 cup tomato sauce
1 small basil leaf
garlic and onion powder, sea salt, black pepper - to taste
**saute onion, garlic, celery in extra virgin olive oil until the onion and celery are soft.  Add the basil leaf and saute for a minute.  Add the diced tomatoes and tomato sauce, then add the frozen okra.  Simmer until okra is no longer bright green (it'll turn a dark green when it's ready).

On another amazing note, I remembered my food today.  WOOHOO!  Here's my list:
*8am - 3 hard boiled eggs and a banana
*10am - 1/4 cup roasted almonds
*12pm - roasted chicken breast and stewed okra
*2pm - 1.5 cups watermelon
*6pm - pork roast in the crock pot, green beans, and leftover okra.

Who wants to share something they've come to love or something they still refuse to try?  I also despised sweet potatoes and I can eat one baked and plain now...it's amazing how things change.  I hope everyone has a fantastic Tuesday!!! 

My worst fear became reality...

Maybe I can blame it on Monday, or that today is my first day back from vacation.  Maybe I can blame it on the kids not being fully ready this morning when I wanted to leave the house, or maybe I could just blame myself and get over it.

As I pulled up to work this morning, I paralleled park in the same spot like I always do.  I put the car in park and sat for a minute listening to the rest of the radio show, and then I finally made the decision to turn the car off and head into work.  I reached over to get my one daily diet coke, my purse, and my bag full of food for the day.  Everything was where it was supposed to be, except my food bag.  Breakfast, lunch, and my two snacks were in that bag...the bag that is still sitting on my dining room table in my kitchen.  When I get home tonight, I'll have to throw it all away, minus the banana.  I hate wasting food (I only have one bag of trash per week to put out in the garbage can for garbage day), I hate wasting money...I also hate having to pay for meals.  Today, however, will be a day full of waste and money being spent on food...and it sucks.  Yeah, call me a downer, but honestly, everyone deserves a crappy day and today is that day for me, at least.

I was really, really looking forward to lunch...string cheese, rotisserie chicken breast and squash.  But noooooooo.  I'll head to the grocery store in a few minutes to pick up my food for the day.  I'll probably get a cup of instant oatmeal, banana, and maybe some fruit I can divide between my two snacks today.  For lunch, I'll pick up a pre-made salad, and that'll be my day.  Nothing exciting, nothing to look forward to.  I guess this means I will have to make dinner extravagant tonight, right??  I deserve that much!  Ha!

On a completely unrelated note, vacation was friggin' amazing and I wish I could go back.  I love Florida so much. I also love that we got to spend our first real family vacation together, all while getting to know the boyfriend's parents (we stayed at their house in Jacksonville, FL).  They were great and my children were well behaved...so I call it a WIN!  The food was good, I stayed as clean as I possibly could, but I was also very, very active while there...so I made sure I upped my calories to make sure I wasn't depleting myself of anything.  I was able to jump on the scale this morning and sure enough, I lost weight, not a lot, but the number definitely went down!  I'm hoping this trend will stick and the numbers will keep going down.  Although I'm happy with my weight loss amount, ultimately I would like to lose another 10 pounds, but if not, then that's ok.  I'm perfectly happy with me...and that's all that counts! 

Here is a picture of us four, my little imperfectly perfect family: 

Brian, Kara-Lou, Jake, and myself - St. Augustine, FL July 9, 2015

A year and a half ago...

I decided to make several changes in my life.  I came up with a list and I shared them with Brian, the boyfriend, or kinda boyfriend at the time, and my mother.  I actually still have the list on my Facebook messenger and recently read it all.  I decided I was going to lose weight and become a healthier person, I was going to move into a large home, and I was going to adopt a dog for myself and my children. 

Not to brag or anything, but I accomplished all of that last year.  I lost close to 40 pounds, I moved in August to a 3 bedroom home, and in October I adopted Juliette...a Catahoula Leopard mix.  I had everything I wanted...I was flying high!!! 

Fast forward to today.  The change in eating is still great, the house is still great, but the dog, well, not so great.  Juliette is not what I envisioned for my family.  I could go on and on about how she needs something else, a playmate (another dog), or kids who want to take the initiative to really help out, or how she really needs an owner to give her the time and attention that I just don't have, but I won't.  This decision was grueling.  Sure, she's not a fit for our family, but I love that dog...she's so dang cute and when she's not crazy she's insanely loveable (I have a black eyebrow bone right now...so when I say crazy, I mean crazy...think 80lbs of fur jumping towards your face for a toy that you're trying to help her with...yeah, it hurt, I cried, I was done after that).  I want to say that I'm a failure, but I won't.  After talking to the children, and Brian, I made the decision to contact the rescue we got her from.  They were able to find her a nice foster home, so she's leaving us tonight.  To say I'm sad would be a complete lie, I am indifferent.  I wish this was black and white, but it's not....it's very, very gray.  I'm torn in between these feelings and I don't know how to act or feel.  I know I'll be insanely sad tonight, I'm not looking forward to it, but I am looking forward to a new normalcy that I haven't had in 9 months. 

I know you're wondering why I'm telling you all this, but for the past few weeks I've been talking about the stress I've been under and, well, this is the reason.  I also wanted to tell you that through this process and the decision making, I haven't turned to food.  I've turned to friends, I've turned to family, I've turned to my boyfriend...I found support elsewhere.  I know so many of you who use food as your comfort when things are going bad, but please know you don't have to.  If you need to talk, I'm here - email me, message me, find me on Facebook...something.  Your progress doesn't have to waver because of one bad day or three bad weeks...at all.  (I'll let you slide on vacation, though...LOLOL...as long as you return home and get back on track right away.  Ha!)

So, to kinda get back on track, I do have my food log for you!!  I really hope you all are enjoying the log...I know it's repetitive a lot, but once you get to know what your body likes and what you like, you'll probably stick to your staples, as well.  Plus, being stressed out for a few weeks hasn't helped my creative food bone...maybe next week I'll make, and post, different recipes for y'all!! 

Here you go:

*8am - 3 hard boiled eggs and one banana
*10am - 9 whole strawberries
*12pm - grilled pork chop and 1 cup of green beans
*2pm - 2 cups watermelon
*6pm (or whenever tonight) - I'm going out, the destination has yet to be determined, but I'll post an update, with a picture, after I eat!!  :)

I hope you all have a wonderful Tuesday and if you're going through anything sad or stressful, just know, you can get through it, I promise!!! 

And the verdict is:

Alright, I'll admit it, I've been MIA and I'm sorry for that.  I rushed myself to Urgent Care last Wednesday, only for them to tell me to turn around and go straight to the ER...they thought I was having an appendicitis.  Well, after blood work, a urinalysis, and a CT Scan...and several hours in the ER...they determined I have two ovarian cysts, and one (the right one) had ruptured.  This, people, is why I was so sick.  A ruptured cyst.  I mean, who knew something so small could wreak such havoc on your body?  Late Wednesday night my fever finally broke, but the headache and overall weakness was there well into Friday. My appetite was gone, as well, but after the boyfriend took me out for a "big" breakfast Friday morning, I started to feel a little better...although my head was still pounding. 

I'll go ahead and admit that this weekend was full of food...I had to make up for the many meals missed since last Tuesday.  I ate grilled chicken and veggies, an omelet filled with veggies, a biscuit, a burrito...naked fajitas (I just eat the meat, guac, and veggies...no tortillas) and possibly a couple margaritas last night (the food list could go on and on, but I don't want to embarrass myself.  Ha!).  Hey, it was my parents' 35th wedding anniversary, I needed to celebrate. 

So, here we are...Monday.  The day that all things start fresh.  Today, my food options are quite healthy and will remain that way, hopefully the entire week, but here's a huge confession:  I leave for vacation Wednesday morning and, well, I have no idea what the food situation will look like, but I promise to be on my best behavior.  I can't promise that I'll post every day, but I will for sure post pics of food and what we're doing down in the great state of Florida!!!

One last thing before I get to my daily food log.  Grocery shopping last week was non-existant, as I stocked up enough the week prior with my last trip being on Sunday (June 28)...I bought 36 eggs, a huge watermelon, bananas (I ate all of them already), whole milk (for the kids), and a few non-essential items for home.  I ran into Wal-Mart yesterday and bought three bananas, enough until I leave Wednesday morning.  So, I think my total bill (which included toiletries and stuff for the kids) was $90 over a week and a half period (but I spent no money last week).  I'm right on a $150-200 budget every month...although I'll pay closer attention next month, when I have no vacations planned. 

Alright, now to the nitty gritty...my food log! 

*8am - 3 hard boiled eggs and a banana
*10am - 11 baby carrots and 2 tbsp hummus (plain)
*12pm - BBQ grilled chicken, yellow squash, and zucchini
*2pm - 9 whole strawberries
*6pm - Trader Joe's chicken patties (http://www.traderjoes.com/fearless-flyer/article/1745 the easiest thing to heat up and eat...they're pretty good when you need something quick) and roasted asparagus. 

Here is a picture from the 4th...my babies and I heading to our town's 4th of July parade!  I hope everyone had a great holiday weekend and has an even better Monday!   
 

Let's talk about...

Body changes and the things you may notice once you decide to take life, and health, by its horns. 

I'm not going to give you some amazing story of how you'll never get sick...blah, blah, blah...because that's not true.  I had the flu around Christmas time last year and as I'm typing this I have a low grade fever, body aches, and the world's largest headache.  The doctor will be seen shortly, believe me...I feel horrible.  However, I'm still here, writing for you and hopefully giving you some info on how things will change, for the better.

There are three things that changed drastically...skin, hair, and nails.  First, let's talk about my skin.  I was always a pimply teenager, even as an adult I'd have some pretty large breakouts...stress, certain times of the month...really anything would break me out.  Once I started eating healthier, cut out all fast foods (and fried foods) and upped my water intake to 80-100oz per day, my skin was virtually glowing!  I barely wear any foundation/base anymore (just around my eyes...those dark circles won't go away, no matter what I do...LOL).  I do have a pimple here and there, but it's very rare.

The second noticeable change are my nails!  I was a nail bitter for 25+ years.  Several years ago, I stopped actively biting them unless I was watching a movie and by the time the movie was over, my nails would be gone...again!  However, I no longer bite my nails, at all (ok, I play with and pick them some...but honestly, no biting...I swear).  In the last 18 months my nails went from looking horrible and barely growing...to growing so fast that I actually have to cut and file them on a weekly basis.  I, personally, don't think this is a fluke and totally feel that my diet change has given my nails the "life" and momentum they needed!

Now, we'll move onto my hair...my golden (errr...gray) locks.  Unfortunately, eating clean won't stop the process of going gray...I wish I had better news for you, but I don't.  I started graying when I was very young (in my early 20s) and it's only gotten worse the older I get.  Here's some good news, though...once you move onto eating clean and getting all of those vitamins and minerals into your body you weren't previously getting, things go crazy...like your nails and hair.  I usually get my cut and highlighted every two months.  I go with blonde, because it hides the gray better, and I can go a couple months without noticing the gray roots (or maybe it's denial...who knows).  Anyway, my hair grows insanely fast now.  I cut it all off in March, decided to go for a new 'do, and I just had it trimmed up again a couple of weeks ago and it's almost to my shoulders...so in two months it went from an inch under my ears in March to my shoulder (when straightened) in June/July.  It's complete insanity.

So, for all of you clean/healthy eaters...what differences have you noticed, besides the weightloss?  Do you have any stories to share?

Oh, and last, but not least....my daily food list (it's a little less than usual...my appetite is non-exsistant, but I'm still eating):

*8am - 3 hard boiled eggs and banana
*10am - 10 whole straweberries
*12pm - homemade sloppy joes over half of a sweet potato (dirty loaded sweet potato!!) 
No snack at 2pm and dinner is still up in the air with the way I feel.  The kids may get a hot n' ready pizza from Little Caesars and I'll eat the leftover Amish cabbage dish I made last week (I was able to freeze three helpings for future meals). 

I hope you all have a wonderful day!!! 

Comfort food...is there anything better?

Once upon a time, when I ate "badly" I used to eat this wonderful concoction called, "dirty fries."  It was homemade sloppy joes (ok, ok, sometimes Manwich) over baked french fries, with a pile of cheese on the top.  After I changed my diet, I lost a little piece of myself when I lost my dirty fries.  Alright, a lot of myself...

Fast forward to tonight.  I made homemade sloppy joes and put it over baked sweet potato fries. 

So, here's the deal - the recipe...it's my very own.  When I say that my kids devour it, I really mean they inhale it.  It's clean, no sugar...nothing bad.  I put the kids' sloppy on buns with a little cheese and mine, well, I put over Trader Joe's sweet potato fries with a tiny sprinkle of cheese.  Tomorrow, my leftovers will be over half of a sweet potato...so maybe we should call that a "dirty loaded sweet potato?"  Hm. 

Anyway, you can dress this up or down...however you want it...or keep it the way it is.  This is my tried and true recipe, I've made it over and over again...I sincerely swear by it.  Now, without further adieu, the coveted (at least in my house) recipe:

Clean Sloppy Joes -

1 lbs ground chicken/turkey
1 small onion
1 small green pepper
(brown these all together until the veggies are soft and the meat is cooked through.  Add sea salt, black pepper, garlic and onion powder, as well...all to taste).

2 tbsp tomato paste
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1.5 tbsp honey
1 tbsp yellow mustard
1 cup tomato sauce
3/4 cup water or chicken broth
(add all of this to the meat/veggie mixture, stir well until blended, add sea salt, pepper, and onion powder to taste.  Cover and simmer for a good 15-20 minutes so the flavors mingle).

Serve this delicious sloppy meat mixture over your choice of sweet potato fries, baked sweet potato, or steamed spaghetti squash.  Here is a picture of this yummy goodness:

So, my food today was pretty low, again.  Totally clean, yes, but I missed a couple snacks, but my eggs, banana, grilled chicken with steamed broccoli, and strawberries (I believe 7 of them) all happened today.

Now, what questions do you have?  Do you have any variations to this recipe?  How were your weekends....and what are you doing this weekend for 4th of July!?!